Imam Shafi`i on his death-bed was asked by Al Muzni “What is your condition?”Then Imam Shafi’ (رحمه الله) replied,“I am journeying from this world, and departing from my brothers, drinking from the cup of death, and upon Allah, Exalted is His remembrance, arriving. And no! By Allah, I do not know if my soul is travelling towards Paradise or the Fire!”Imam Shafi’ (رحمه الله) then began to cry profusely and recited the following;
‘To You, the Creator, I raise my longing,And even if I am, O possessor of kindness and generosity, an evildoer, a criminalWhen my heart became constricted and my paths became narrow,I took my hope in Your pardon and forgiveness as an opening and an escapeMy sins seemed very great to me but when I compared them to Your forgiveness,I found Your forgiveness to be much greaterYou are and still remain the only One who can forgive sins,You grant and forgive out of Your benevolence and generosityWere it not for You, then a servant could never defy IblisAnd how can that be when he mislead Your friend AdamIf only I knew! Will I arrive at Paradise that I may take delightOr at Hellfire, that I may regret?How capable is Allah! For the one acquainted with lament,blood almost flows from his eyelids due to the excess of his emotions (lament)He stands when the night extends out its darknessStands against himself out of extreme fear, sinfulEloquent when he makes mention of his LordAnd in the mention of others than Him, he is speechlessHe remembers days gone by of his youthAnd what was in it of ignorance, he was a criminalAnd so for the whole of his day, the companion of grief has becomethe brother of sleeplessness and secret conversation when the night darkensHe says, ‘My beloved, You are what I request and desireYou are enough of a longing and benefit for those who have hopeAre You not the One who has provided for me and guided meAnd You have not ceased being gracious to me and full of favoursPerhaps the Beneficent One will forgive my mistakesAnd cover up my crime and what has gone forthMy sins seemed very great to me, so I turned (to You) in humilityWere it not for my contentment in you, I wouldn’t, O my Lord, have seen any comfort at allSo if You forgive me, You would have forgiven a sinner,A rebellious, oppressive tyrant still sinningSo if You were to seek revenge from me, I would not despairEven if they entered my soul into Jahannum, due to the sinsFor my crimes are great, past and presentBut Your forgiveness comes to the servant, more exalted and more greatThe bounty of Allaah surrounds me from all sidesAnd Light from the Most Merciful has spread in the skyAnd in the heart is the radiance of the beloved when he is reunitedAnd when glad tidings draw close, it becomes feverishExhilaration surrounds me, only for AllaahIt overlooks me in the darkness of the grave, apparent and clearI protect my love, lest my desires should pollute itAnd I preserve the contract of love, lest it be defiledIn my wakefulness is yearning and in my slumber is destinyThat’s pursuing my footsteps in ecstasyWhoever holds fast to Allaah, he is protected from menAnd whoever hopes for Him, then never will he regret..
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